Gus on üks kass teatri eesukse all
Või õieti - hirmus pikk nimi on tal
See on Asparaagus - nii näitab ta pass,
aga kõik teda lihtsalt hüüavad - Gus

Tal kuub kulund näruks ja tuhm on ta palg
Podagrat ta põeb ja tal väriseb jalg
Oli noorena küll nõnda vilgas ja keps
Nüüd ei hirmuta hiiri ja rotte üks teps

Pole enam just see, kes ehk oli ta kord,
kuigi vanasti oli tal austajaid hord
On teinekord koos väike sõprade ring
Klubiks kelder, kus õhus paks tubakaving

Ta armastab vesta — kui maksad ta eest -
kurbnaljaka loo kadund õitsenguteest
Kord oli ta staar, öelda võiks — kõrgem klass
Laval Pansot ja Baskinit kohtas see kass

Käpas oli tal kord kassi klassikalaad
Talle hüüdis saal järjest kord seitse hurraad
Kuid suurim šedööver — jah, maailmaklass -
oli va Peemot, vürst Wolandi deemonlik kass

Ja ta räägib, kui teed talle pitsi või pai,
kuis "Kass kuumal plekk-katusel" mängitud sai
Ühe Shakespeare? tükigi lavale ta tõi -
kassi-Romeo roll kassarekordi lõi

Ja ma ütlen küll, praegu on teistmoodi aeg
õiget koolitust teatris ei saa kassipoeg
Puudub noortel treening ja ühendav trupp,
hiire asemel pihus neil on juhtmejupp

Ta lausub, pilk mõtlik ja lauba peal kurd:
enam teater pole see, mis oli ta kord
Kõik moodne, modernne on kenake küll,
kuid seal puudub see ilus ja vana idüll
See midagi müstilist ja fantastilist,
mil mängitud sai Peemot, deemonlik kass

Ma võiksin seda uuesti teha

Gus is a cat under the front door of the theatre
Or rather - he has a terribly long name
It is Asparagus - so shows his passport
but everyone simply calls him - Gus

His coat is worn ragged and his complexion is faded
He suffers from gout and his foot trembles
He was so vivacious and frolicky when he was younger
Now he doesn't scare rats and mice even a bit

He is not that, who he was once,
even though back then he had a horde of admirers
Sometimes together is a little circle of friends
The club is a basement, where there is a thick stench of tobacco in the air

He loves to tell — if you pay for him -
a funny and sad tale of lost halcyon ways
He once was a star, you could say — top class
This cat met Panso and Baskin on stage

He had cat classics in his paw, once
The auditorium once gave him seven hurrays back-to-back
But the biggest chef-d'oeuvre — yes, world class -
was Behemoth, count Woland's demonic cat

And he'll talk, if you give him a shot or a pat,
how "Cat on a hot tin roof" was played
He even brought one Shakespeare? piece on stage -
the role of cat-Romeo made a box office record

And I say, now is a different time
a kitten doesn't get proper schooling in theatre
The youth are missing training and an uniting troupe
instead of a mouse, in their palm is a piece of wire

He says, his gaze contemplative and a furrow on his forehead:
the theatre is no more what it was
Everything fashionable, modern is fine and all
but missing from there is the beautiful and old idyll
That something mystical and fantastical,
when played was Behemoth, the demonic cat

I could do it again

Gus is the cat at the theatre door
His name, as I ought to have told you before
Is really Asparagus, but that's such a fuss to pronounce
That we usually call him just Gus

His coat's very shabby, he's thin as a rake
And he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake
Yet he was in his youth quite the smartest of cats
But no longer a terror to mice or to rats

For he isn't the cat that he was in his prime
Though his name was quite famous, he says, in his time
And whenever he joins his friends at their club
Which takes place at the back of the neighbouring pub

He loves to regale them, if someone else pays
With anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days
For he once was a star of the highest degree
He has acted with Irving, he's acted with Tree

And he likes to relate his success on the halls
Where the gallery once gave him seven cat calls
But his grandest creation as he loves to tell
Was Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell

Then, if someone will give him a toothful of gin
He will tell how he once played a part in East Lynne
At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat
When some actor suggested the need for a cat

And I say, now, these kittens, they do not get trained
As we did in the days when Victoria reigned
They never get drilled in a regular troupe
And they think they are smart just to jump through a hoop

And he says as he scratches himself with his claws
Well, the theatre is certainly not what it was
These modern productions are all very well
But there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell
That moment of mystery when I made history
As Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell

Could do it again